Ideological Agriculture, Preamble (An Excerpt From the Sermon of a Known Lunatic)

In this most exciting of times – as your god is reawakening, as the portents of conflict appear in the east and the west, at our cities’ edges and at their centers – it is increasingly vital for a true believer such as yourself to be prepared for the worst sort of situation. I’m speaking, of course, of those times you find yourself in dire need of your god’s intervention but without the necessary tools to request it.

It matters not how well you know the ritual, whether your altar is pristine, nor whether your knives and sconces are sharpened and lit – if you haven’t a good offering to bleed dry before the ever-watchful eyes of your divine master, your cries simply will not reach him. We know this, since it follows the oldest laws of humanity, passed down to us from the old ones in the most ancient times. We know that a thing of value must be destroyed when we commune with the divine; it allows us to open the otherwise sealed channel. And while we know this is inconvenient, we cannot help it; it is simply the way our world works. As such, as members of the devout we should never find ourselves without something of value on hand, should occasion for sacrifice arise.

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The problem with Old Ones is that you can’t second-guess them.

Formula for creating a perfect immortal being

i. The being must either decay at an absolute rate of 0% or it must take energy from its environment, use that energy to replicate at a rate that will not exceed that environment’s capacity.

ii. The being must be highly adaptive and resistant to external threats, resolving them either by coercion, co-option, or mimicry.

iii. The being must be even more highly adaptive and resistant to internal threats, and the result of any engagement must be the victory of whichever internal components optimize its survival.

iv. If for any reason there is a critical failure in stages i – iii, the being must be able to enter a state of dormancy until it is ready to make another attempt at permanent, active existence.